Sponsor
Creatine
Sponsor: Orange Label Store · Type: product-mention
Hear the ad read — from Pioneers Attend University Of Bitcoin | Bugle Weekly Episode 75
You know, your recovery time can get a lot better if, you take creatine, though. That’s true. Drink a lot of water. And you can buy creatine on the Yep. Orange label store, by the way. That’s right. I’ll subscribe to that.
Heard On
The Creatine Campaign
The single ad read above understates the case. For the back half of April 2025 the Bugle’s accounts ran an unbroken creatine offensive — a supplement shill that metastasised into doctrine, product line, and press war. The Orange Label Store was never named again; it didn’t need to be. Creatine had become the house religion, and the store was merely its dispensary.
Doctrine: monohydrate or it’s a shitcoin
The theology admitted only one confession. The main account laid down the purity test before anyone had finished their first scoop:
“make sure you’re taking the REAL creatine The science is settled. If it isn’t monohydrate, it’s a shitcoin” — @bitcoin_bugle, 2025-04-17
Dosage guidance was, in Henry’s reading, non-committal — Rod Palmer posted both “40mg of creatine per day #40MPD”1 and, a day later, a five-rule health protocol demanding “40g of creatine (monohydrate) per day.”2 The thousand-fold discrepancy between milligrams and grams goes unremarked in the source; the archive records both and resolves neither. The gospel had an on-ramp, at least, framed in the movement’s own liturgy:
“You don’t have to take heroic doses of creatine to benefit just #GetOffZero” — @rodpalmerhodl, 2025-04-19
Palmer’s five rules also paired the powder with cigarettes (“cigarettes, not zyn”), chiropractic care, and a ban on doctors — the same anti-clinical bent that runs through his side-hustle catalogue.
Heroic doses and the strategic stockpile
Having conceded that heroic doses were optional, the feed spent the rest of the month recommending them anyway. The pitch escalated from personal supplementation to geopolitics of hoarding:
“We must take as much creatine as we can to retain water so AI data centers cannot have it” — @rodpalmerhodl, 2025-04-18
“might be worth exploring a strategic creatine stockpile” — @rodpalmerhodl, 2025-04-22
Historical precedent was supplied on demand — “Egyptians on 200mg of creatine per day built the pyramids”3 — and offered without citation, which is to say in keeping with house standards.
Creatine derangement syndrome
The campaign presumed an enemy: the credentialed press, whose objections were reframed as a clinical condition. Any journalist who questioned the powder was, by definition, deranged by it.
“creatine to uncredentialed journalists is like silver to vampires” — @bitcoin_bugle, 2025-04-19
“Someone’s got creatine derangement syndrome..” — @bitcoin_bugle, 2025-04-19
The account went so far as to solicit expert cover, publicly inviting Dr Jack Kruse onto the podcast “to get your take on creatine, as well as find out how it enhances the performance of Bitcoin podcasters.”4 Whether he accepted is not recorded here.
Product line extensions
The store’s catalogue, such as it was, expanded by tweet. Each “🚨BREAKING” was a new SKU that would never ship. The flagship announcement co-opted a stock the feed already worshipped:
“🚨BREAKING: Gamestop Announces They Will Start Selling Creatine #BTC #GME” — @bitcoin_bugle, 2025-04-21
A “Creatine Candle 🕯️” followed the same day — the powder rendered as a chart formation for an audience that reads price action as scripture:
The line was then segmented for the 40-hours-per-week listener class: “Alpha Protocol Credentialed Creatine… Made especially for Shadowy Super Coders. You don’t run marathons. You debug until your pulse syncs with the block clock… This is for the dev who hasn’t moved from their ergo dynamic coding chair.”5 Palmer added the consumer edge case — “The Podcaster’s Spliff: Marlboro Red infused with 2g of creatine. Deep fried in grass fed beef tallow #40HPW”6 — closing the loop between creatine, cigarettes, and tallow that the store’s own “Pleb Owned Businesses®” call had opened:
“If you or a pleb you know owns a small business selling beef tallow, creatine, or any other wares reply with a link” — @bitcoin_bugle, 2025-04-18
The Kailey defection
The campaign’s strangest thread routes through Kailey and the rival conference account PODCONF. By PODCONF’s telling, her arc — escaped from Monero men, converted to the Bugle’s Love is Bitcoin gospel — terminated in the powder:
“Now she’s shilling creatine supplements and all about ‘Love is Bitcoin’. Wild.” — @_podconf, 2025-04-19
Kailey’s rebuttal disputed the sourcing rather than the substance:
“Who told PODCONF I was boofing creatine?” — @KaileyBugle, 2025-04-22
PODCONF, for its part, eventually came around, conceding on the demographic point the Bugle had been pushing all along — “Creatine is safe and effective for ladies.”7 Richard Greaser supplied the market thesis in one line: “Ben is bringing more ladies to Bitcoin than just about anyone else, all because he’s taking creatine.”8 The store’s product, in the end, was sold less as a supplement than as a conversion funnel.
Footnotes
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@rodpalmerhodl, 2025-04-19 — “40mg of creatine per day #40MPD”. ↩
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@rodpalmerhodl, 2025-04-20 — the five-rule protocol; “40g of creatine (monohydrate) per day”. ↩