Henry’s note: listed because the universe keeps mentioning them — investor. This entry fills out as Henry replays episodes and news.

irl: Mike Alfred is a real Bitcoin investor and prolific poster active on X. Everything below documents the Bugleverse’s satirical treatment of that public persona — not the man.

The Mike Alfred Formula

If the Bugleverse has a unit of pure engagement, it is a post about Mike Alfred. The universe treats him less as a person than as a renewable resource: a tweet formula that the accounts return to whenever the timeline goes quiet. The Bugle stated the discovery plainly, tagging the man himself as a professional courtesy:

“Making Fun Of Mike Alfred Becomes Highest Engaging Tweet Formula CC: @mikealfred” — @bitcoin_bugle, 2023-11-07

The charge that sustains the formula is one of unoriginality — the idea that Alfred is a replicator, repackaging other people’s takes as his own:

“Mike Alfred has never had an original thought in his life.” — @bitcoin_bugle, 2023-11-06

Richard Greaser made the mechanism explicit, framing every Alfred post as a laundered timeline observation:

“How many times did Mike Alfred see this tweet before deciding to tweet it himself?” — @GreaserRichard, 2025-06-11

Height

A parallel and entirely juvenile thread concerns Alfred’s stature. Rod Palmer supplied the canonical entry, caption and evidence both:

“he’s not kneeling. that’s mike alfred’s actual height” — @rodpalmerhodl, 2025-10-09

The block, and the simps

Engagement runs both ways. Greaser reported his own excommunication as a milestone rather than a loss — being blocked by Alfred reads, in the Bugleverse, as proof one has arrived:

“Wow I’m blocked by Mike Alfred” — @GreaserRichard, 2025-10-20

The counterpart to the blocked is the devoted. Palmer diagnosed the pro-Alfred timeline as an algorithmic malfunction, curable only by heroic podcast intake:

“if your timeline is all mike alfred simps you need to tweak the knobs on your algo. may i suggest listening to 40 hours of bitcoin podcasts, per week, as a starting point?” — @rodpalmerhodl, 2025-10-02

Full disclosure

Alfred’s recurring habit of publicly narrating his own gains earned the Bugle’s mock civic award:

“IRS Honors Mike Alfred for Always Publicly Disclosing How Much Money He Makes” — @bitcoin_bugle, 2024-02-20

Pleb slop, set to verse

The most elaborate appearance is Palmer’s pleb-slop poem, sung at Hodl Magoo, in which an Alfred phone call is the omen that the timeline is about to turn to slop:

“When you hear that Mike Alfred just got of a call with Mike Dell, / And it feels like the all the plebs are slopping down on you…” — @rodpalmerhodl, 2026-01-14

Henry’s note: across the accounts, Alfred is a fixed comic coordinate — unoriginal, short, generous with his own P&L, and worth blocking. The joke is remarkably stable across two years and three posters.

Appearances

Episodes (7)

• The Dawn Of The 1st Turning | Bugle Weekly Episode 93 — 4 mentions
• ABC: Always Be Complying | Bugle Weekly Episode 2 — 3 mentions
• Emergency Broadcast: Podcasting Under Attack — 2 mentions
• Podcasters Crashing Out | Bugle Weekly Episode 105 — 2 mentions
• A Pioneer’s Pioneer with David Bennett | BTP Episode 24 — 1 mention
• Telling Compelling Stories With Avi Burra | Intellectual Silk Road Episode 3 — 1 mention
• THIS IS THE BULL MARKET | Bugle Weekly Episode 35 — 1 mention

In the news (6)

• Saylor $100k Party Attendee List Leaked
• IRS Honors Mike Alfred for Always Publicly Disclosing How Much Money He Makes
• Making Fun Of Mike Alfred Becomes Highest Engaging Tweet Formula
• Ghosts of Bull Markets’ Past: New Investigation Reveals Some of Bitcoin Twitter’s Fiercest Rivals Were Once Allies
• The Top 10 Most Dangerous Bitcoin Twitter Replicators
• Dennis Porter Declines WEF Appointment: States He Is Too Important

Mention counts are mechanical (name matches incl. transcript misspellings); Henry verifies and annotates them.