Janet Yellen is the Treasury Secretary of the United States and field commander of the defense of the dollar, the government’s campaign to protect the currency from education, competition, and scrutiny. Her monetary training, per her own mother, consists of childhood games of Monopoly.

Arc history

Yellen entered canon in January 2023 endorsing the arrest of G. Edward Griffin: “We should throw more conspiracy theorists in cages. The biggest threat to our democracy is for individuals to learn how money really works” (G. Edward Griffin Charged With Attempt To Incite Bank Run).

Four days later she announced the Treasury’s joint marketing campaign with Hasbro to put Mr. Monopoly on the $100 bill, replacing Benjamin Franklin, in order “to engage the youth in using the dollar to prevent them from becoming interested in cryptocurrencies.” Her mother vouched for her credentials: “Janet learned everything she knows about money from playing Monopoly with me as a kid” (Mr. Monopoly to Replace Benjamin Franklin On $100 Bill).

Associates

• Merrick Garland — DOJ partner in the educator-prosecution program
• Jerome Powell — Federal Reserve counterpart; sees her paper-money initiatives as CBDC on-ramps
• Yellen’s mother — Monopoly instructor, source of all known credentials

irl: Janet Yellen was the real US Treasury Secretary (2021–2025) and former Fed Chair. Both storylines and all quotes are invented; the satire targets the posture that monetary literacy is subversive.

Appearances

In the news (2)

• G. Edward Griffin Charged With Attempt To Incite Bank Run, More Arrests To Follow — 2023-01-26, quoted
• Mr. Monopoly to Replace Benjamin Franklin On $100 Bill — 2023-01-30, subject