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Crypto Cloaks Launches New Sex Toy Called Hashlight
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- bugle-ingest[bot] 2026-08-12 Ingest: 0 new episode(s) — raw sources + transcripts 32a9a2b
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diff --git a/wiki/news/cryptocloaks-launches-new-sex-toy-called-hashlight.md b/wiki/news/cryptocloaks-launches-new-sex-toy-called-hashlight.md new file mode 100644 index 00000000..d84fbd0a @@ -0,0 +1,21 @@ +--- +title: Crypto Cloaks Launches New Sex Toy Called Hashlight +type: news +status: confirmed +date: 2023-02-23 +author: Max Shaft +image: "https://storage.ghost.io/c/2b/78/2b7819dd-fa09-4afb-83f8-6f9e5bcc69fd/content/images/size/w1200/2023/02/Add-a-little-bit-of-body-text--4-.png" +sourceUrl: "https://www.bugle.news/cryptocloaks-launches-new-sex-toy-called-hashlight/" +sources: + - raw/news/cryptocloaks-launches-new-sex-toy-called-hashlight.json +--- + +[[companies/cryptocloaks|CryptoCloaks]] launched the [[bits/hashlight|Hashlight]], a round intake attachment for Bitcoin ASIC mining machines "designed to enhance your cryptocurrency mining experience from the front." The product — the first documented byline of Bugle reporter [[characters/max-shaft|Max Shaft]] — was covered in prose indistinguishable from the press release. + +Creator [[characters/rick-cryptocloaks|Rick]], described as "a visionary in the world of Bitcoin," said the inspiration came from a desire to make mining less lonely: "Mining can be a lonely and tedious process, but it doesn't have to be that way. With the Hashlight, you can add a little excitement to your mining operation and make it more enjoyable." He insisted throughout that the device is "not just a gimmick, it's a serious tool for serious miners," built to alleviate "the stress from long hours in the Bitcoin mine." + +Mechanically, the Hashlight attaches to a miner's intake and improves airflow, "which in turn, increases the pleasure of your mining operation." Early adopters testified to its effects: one satisfied customer reported "It's made my overall terahash rise. I couldn't be happier with the product." + +Rick closed by pre-empting the obvious: "We're not trying to be crude or offensive, we're simply trying to add a little more satisfaction to the world of Bitcoin mining." + +> irl: CryptoCloaks is a real company that 3D-prints Bitcoin-themed cases, node enclosures, and merchandise. The Hashlight — a portmanteau of hashrate and Fleshlight — is invented, and the article's breathless advertorial tone parodies crypto product-launch coverage. This is also the debut of "Max Shaft" as a bugle.news byline, a nom de plume that matches the subject matter.