Henry’s note: documented from the airwaves — this advertiser exists only inside the podcast. Transcripts are verbatim from the diarized audio.

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Produced commercials aired on the shows — playable at the exact spot in each episode.

Is This The God Candle | Bugle Weekly Episode 49 · 2025-03-03 · at 28:09

Advertising: A 10-bitcoin course for geeks afraid to hit on women

A parody advice segment counsels a billionaire to find a wife by donating to universities for mandatory math-faculty parties, then pitches a discounted 10-bitcoin anti-woke-mind-poisoning dating course complete with an on-air bitcoin address.

Do you have any advice? What you need on one hand is a woman that is so autistic she won’t want to murder you for your money, or on the other hand the woman you like so much you’ll want her to murder you. You just need to make sure you don’t end up with a complete psychopath. To avoid that you need to be the one that chooses them so they won’t choose you. So here’s my action plan for you, sir. Go to the university closest to where you live and offer them a generous donation on the condition they organize a small party or event for you where attendance from the physics and mathematics faculty and masters and PhD students is mandatory. At this party, you’ll need to identify someone who you’re interested in and try to hit on them with a math joke or something. Of course, you need to make sure that they know who you are because, you know. I don’t think this will take more than like $10,000,000 or about 10 universities until you find the right person for you. Someone I think you’ll be very happy with It’s gonna be totally worth it. About your woke mind poisoning which makes you afraid to hit on women, I actually have a special course for that that only costs 10 bitcoin on discounts, and it helps geeks who are afraid to hit on women after stuff they read on social media. And I think this will be a key to your success with women. Please send this podcast to your assistant so she can send me the money, and I’ll immediately send you the course. My address is B C 1 Q Q Q Z 40 X E 5 Q Q 23 DA 0 G M N U 9 R R V 5 F K X E Z M E N Q D H W V 0. Bye.

(Henry isn’t certain this one is a produced spot.)